Pockymon
by xReicheru-chanx
Summary: <html><head></head>When it is announced that every Pocky factory in the world is shutting down... what are Shiki and Rima supposed to do? The answer: FREAKIN' POCKY-MON, YO!</html>


**Author's Note: Audience? What are you doing reading Fanfiction, audience? You could be having an epic dance battle with a pancake right now! ):**

**This story is brought to you by: Reicheru's once-more diseased mind, an overload of Tobuscus videos, and the Epic Nyan Cat. **

**Special thanks: Whoever it was that made that video with the Nyan cat repeating itself for over three hours… you brought this story into its random existence. **

**Warning: 'Tis my first oneshot, and is completely random. Please don't take this seriously. Ever.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. Or Pocky. Or Vampire Knight. Heck, I don't even own the Epic Nyan Cat… let's just say that I own NOTHING here, mmkay?**

-x-

Senri Shiki (or is it Shiki Senri? Bah, Japanese!) was aghast, staring open-mouthed at the television. His best friend/girlfriend/whatever, Rima, was equally shocked. The rest of the Night Class was also in awe, but for a different reason.

_Who knew that Rima and Shiki actually had emotions?_

Shiki's eye twitched. "I…. can't…. believe…."

"They've…. stopped….. making….. Pocky…." Rima finished his sentence, like the two had some sort of magical telepathy. And who knows? Maybe they do.

Aidou blinked. "Shiki, you can talk?"

Despite his stupid comment, Hanabusa was ignored by the two terrified models. They seemed to be petrified, turned to stone by the commercial announcing the shut-down of every Pocky factory in the world. Akatsuki waved his hand experimentally in front of Rima's face. She didn't even blink.

Without any warning, Rima and Shiki started to roll around on the floor, screaming and flailing around.

"POCKYYYYYY!" they wailed.

-x-

_Three hours later…._

The majority of the Night Class was wandering around the Moon Dorm, looking for the pair of distraught models. After the two had disappeared some hours before, Kaname had grown concerned. So concerned that he ordered his minions to search while he sat in his room, drinking Capri-Sun. BLOOD-FLAVORED.

In the midst of their search, the group heard shouting coming from behind the door to Shiki's room (where they – for some idiotic reason – hadn't looked yet).

"I THOUGHT _I_ WAS GOING TO BE POCKY-CHU!"

"I'VE GOT LIGHTNING, BISCUIT-FACE. _I'M_ POCKY-CHU."

"BUT THERE AREN'T ANY OTHERS THAT WORK WITH 'POCKY' IN THEIR NAME!"

"THEN… UM…. YOU CAN BE…. POCKY-SAUR."

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FRICKIN' DINOSAUR, RIMA."

"IT'S THAT OR POCKY-KE$HA. TAKE YOUR PICK."

There was a silence, like Shiki was actually thinking about it. "Well… Pocky-saur is better…. I guess…"

"GOOD LIFE DECISION, SENRI."

The Night Class stood apprehensively outside the door, unsure if they wanted to open the door or not. However, that decision was made for them when Rima and Shiki burst out of the room, dressed up in what looked like Pikachu and Bulbasaur costumes… made entirely out of various flavors of Pocky.

"GOOO POCKY-CHU!

"AAAAAAND POCKY-SAUR!"

"WE ARE…" shouted the pair in unison, "POCKY-MON!" They jumped comically into the air, ridiculous grins on their faces.

… Akatsuki was unamused. "I thought that Pokémon could only say their names – " his words were cut short as Shiki leapt forward and slapped the orange-haired vampire across the face (POCKY-ATTACK!).

"WE'RE _POCKY-MON_, STUPID!" roared the furious Pocky-saur. Rima – er, Pocky-chu – grinned and gave her comrade a Pocky-high-five.

Aidou gulped, and backed up a few steps. "I think they've gone into Pocky withdrawal!"

Ruka frowned. "But they have tons of Pocky… they made costumes out of it…."

Hanabusa shook his head furiously. "DON'T SAY P-"

"_**POCKYYYYYY**_!" screamed the models at the top of their lungs, as they glomped Ruka. "GIVE US SOME FREAKIN' POCKY!"

Ruka screamed, and tried to escape from the clutches of the Pocky Monsters. Akatsuki kind of freaked out about Ruka being squished, and tried to pull the crazed vampires off of her. Unfortunately, Kain was the victim of circumstances, and thus fell prey to the rage of Pocky-saur.

"DON'T TOUCH RIMA, YA' POCKY-KARP!" he snarled and tackled the orange-haired offender. 'Pocky-karp' happened to be a terrible insult in the world of Pocky-mon, meaning "a Pocky-mon who does nothing and is pretty useless….."

Rima started to shake uncontrollably. "Pocky…. Pocky… POCKY…."

"RUN!" screamed Aidou, and he took off sprinting like his life depended on it. He was closely followed by Ruka (who managed to escape), Ichijou (who had done nothing at all), and Seiren (who probably could have just ninja'd away). Akatsuki was busy being beaten to a pulp by a very pissed-off Pocky-saur.

"POCKY….. _CHUUUUU_!" Rima yelled, and blueish lightning zapped everyone in the vicinity, except for Shiki. So, pretty much, Kain (the victim of circumstances) got electrocuted. And no one else.

-x-

Meanwhile, Kaname Kuran was staring, shocked, as the television commercial announced that Capri-Sun would no longer be making a 'blood' flavor.

-x-

**Well, that was short….**

**I have terribly abused the whole "Akatsuki: the Victim of Circumstances" thing… but LOLOLOLOLOL it was fun to write. This is what happens when Reicheru is bored and sick at four in the morning listening to the Nyan cat… yeah, I think I've established that. Hooray for my first completely 'crack' story… if enough people decide to review, I might make a sequel or another chapter or something. Imagine it now – "Pocky-mon: The Night Class Strikes Back".**

**And no, I don't own Star Wars either.**


End file.
